The Idiot’s Guide to the USA – Food

The Idiot's Guide to the USAOn serving sizes
– these are HUGE
– everywhere
– everything
– all the time
– even McDonald’s

On biscuits and gravy
– biscuits are either “English breakfast muffins” or scones, depending on the area
– “gravy” is vomit

On Australian food
– this is really just American food in disguise

On McDonalds
– when in doubt, McDonald’s is the only food you recognise
– however, it is substantially larger and nicer than McDonalds in Australia
– except for the raw onions

On Subway
– they do not have a wrap option
– nor do they have beetroot or carrot
– the cheese is labelled differently
– the meatballs are mushier and taste different

On FruitTingles
– they don’t exist
– you will have to make do with LifeSavers

On serving food
– this is done from a little folding table seat thing
– the waiter/waitress will bring it out with him/herself

On vegetables
– good luck
– vegetables are rare
– most dishes come either completely devoid of anything resembling a plant, or they come with a very lettuce-y salad
– if you ask for vegetables, you will get strange looks
– this is telling in the American saying “meat and potatoes” in reference to a staple diet – as opposed to how Australians consider “meat and three veg” to be the staple diet
– in summation, most dishes consist of meat and starch

On hamburgers
– there are many chains which sell these
– if you see a giant sign with a giant hamburger on it, the chances are much smaller that it is a sign for McDonalds
– there are more hamburger chains in America than McDonalds, Hungry Jack’s, and Burger King


One thought on “The Idiot’s Guide to the USA – Food

  1. Jedika98 says:

    And if you are lucky enough to get veggies be prepared for them to be battered and deep fried. J

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